New Perspectives..

This is totally out of context seeing as neither one of us has written anything here for months, but I just read through my old posts about Foreign Lover and WOW how things have changed. It's so weird to look back on how upset I got over things which at the time seemed HUGE and now seem silly and pathetic. Turns out I had nothing to worry about at all.
It's like what Fergie says.. "All the things I know right now, if I only knew back then". When I first heard this song, I heard this line negatively- as in back then when I had let down my guard to Foreign Lover and started to really like him I had no idea of how much shit he would put me through.
But now, with my new perspective on the whole situation, due to recent visit to his house, I hear this line positively. If only I knew throughout the whole time I was suffering that really, I was just being paranoid and twisting most of what I read into what I wanted it to be- and being so self destructive, it was all negative. And the things that I read that I didn't twist, that I knew were true- such as Foreign Lover getting a girlfriend and their pictures being posted all over facebook- I didn't even need to worry about.
If only I knew back then, I would have saved myself from six months of hurt. And screw facebook for making me so paranoid- when I actually spoke to Foreign Lover about everything (and embarassingly I do mean everything..), I realised how everything had been out of context, and I had no idea how he was actually feeling.
Finally, all those posts I made about not being beautiful or skinny enough- well I'm not saying that I'm happy with myself, but he saw me with no make up on and didn't puke.
That's all I needed really.