Naturally Fucked...

I was stalking Foreign Lover's exes the other day, when I came across one who really fucked with my head. I recognised her name, and then remembered having read something somewhere about her being his 'first love'. Looking through her pictures I wanted to cry- she was thin, popular and naturally beautiful. Naturally beautiful. That's the phrase everyone commented her photos with. Even the friend beside me looking over my shoulder gasped, and said those exact words. Brilliant. And then I came across a comment from Foreign Lover himself... "You know what I think about this picture. You're beautiful ♥".

Never have I had a comment from him even verging on that. For a guy to call a girl beautiful on a photo comment which everyone can see is really something.
The thing about me is that I'm not naturally beautiful. In fact, I'm not beautiful at all. My look is obvious- fake blonde hair, makeup, low cut tops, big boobs and short skirts. Okay for a first glance, a one night thing, but there's nothing special about me so people don't want me for any longer than that.

So, for some reason I thought visiting my favourite thinspo websites would make me feel better. I couldn't have been more wrong. I now have 258 pictures saved on my computer. I think that counts as being obsessed? Like, worryingly.

Why the fuck does everything that upsets me in my life link back to me not being beautiful or skinny? And why have I still not done something about it?! For fuck's sake. No wonder he doesn't give a shit about me anymore.

I would do literally anything to be as naturally stunning as any of them.

Goes without saying that I would not be having these daily depressions due to Foreign Lover's dwindling interest if I was...

I think my self-confidence just hit -9786493295754898159.

♥ C

The Sun Has Made Me Positive

I'm hungry.
I'm tired.
I'm over-worked (though I haven't actually done any of it).
I'm aching.
I'm bored.
I'm all sunned-out.

And I am very pissed off at myself for having done absolutely NOTHING for my past two weeks of holiday.
It's kind of been like being a zombie for a fortnight. Zombies are cool and, don't get me wrong, it was fun at the time. But now that I look back, I have nothing to show for my hours wittled away watching E Entertainment and the occasional episode of Life of Ryan. Nothing but a repertoire of highly useful celebrity knowledge and a re-established love of Ryan Sheckler and the beautiful state of California.
But tomorrow it all ends, when I have to wake up for school at 6.45. Bring it! I know what you're thinking: I should be dreading the inevitable shrills of the alarm clock, right? Wrong. For once I am actually excited to have some structure and a place to be every day. I'm going to be super concentrated at school and cram in as much information as I can in preparation of The Big Exams.
Well, least that's the plan...

WISH ME LUCK

J. X

One Wish

If there was one thing I could ask for in the world, it wouldn't be Foreign Lover. It would be to be beautiful.




Guess I'm screwed.

♥ C

When other hoes get involved...

Having not spoken to Foreign Lover for a few days (his fault, not mine, as always..), it came as a LOVELY surprise to find a comment on his profile from a girl- 'was nice to finally see you ;) haaa xxxx'. I'm sorry, WHICH part of that comment was funny? And what's with the winking face??!!

Not only is this girl VERY PRETTY, but she is also ENGLISH. Lethal combination, especially when he always talked about how he doesn't like the French girls he knows because they're all the same. Brilliant brilliant brilliant, she sounds freakin' perfect to me. She's also skinny. This just doesn't get any better does it...

Having stalked her a bit (alright, A LOT), I found that she had also 'liked' two of his profile pictures. Fair enough, I mean he's pretty hot.. but then I realised one of the pictures she had liked was the 28th in his Profile Pictures album. Um. FUCKING KEEN OR WHAT. She's obviously a demented obsessed stalker freak...
That makes two of us then.

He better bloody watch his reply, because I will be analysing it within an inch of its life.
And I swear to God, if either of them are considering her being my successor.. Well let's just say she had better be prepared.

I fight dirty.

♥ C

cuteness overload

old people are cute, but this is cuter

Spring has sprung and we are free

I have a new addiction, and it goes by the name of www.lookbook.nu (what country is .nu??)
I figure at least its safer than cocaine and healthier than caffeine. Almost.

Feeling so inspired right now, I'm going to go plan some outfits with the money I don't have
Love
J ♥